Hillsborough
Sheffield
S6 2LL
All Rights reserved
Main Page List
Health and Safety Bollocks, Railway Style.
Health and Safety Bollocks, School Style.
How Risky Is It ?
Health and Safety Bollocks, Railway Style.
This is a story about "Health & Safety Bollocks" railway style, and ultimately it really is
quite sad, in fact it almost brings a tear to my eye.......
I can remember when I was about twelve back in the mid 70s going with the school to the
National Railway Museum at York. The NRM is fabulous and it was a great day out but in
the afternoon there was an undoubted highlight that actually had quite an effect on the rest
of my life. At that time there was a British Railways yard just at the side of the museum
and a group of us were sitting watching an engine being worked there. After a short while
the driver noticed us sat there and he descended from the cab, walked over to us and asked
us if we wanted to go on the footplate ! Naturally we all jumped at the chance and followed
him up into the loco. It was fantastic as he showed us what everything did and how to start
the engine, but it got even better when he asked us if we wanted to drive it ! Alright it was
only 50 yards or so but it was a wonderful experience for a group of lads, though I`m sure it
would be a wonderful experience for most "grown ups" as well !
This incident helped to fire my enthusiasm for all things to do with railways and it had a
similar effect on at least one of the other group of us. So why do memories of it make me
feel a bit sad ? Well it could never happen these days, and so that`s one more experience
that the kids of today will never have. I`m sure if it did occur now the railwayman concerned
would be sacked on the spot because it`d be considered a serious breach of "Health &
Safety". At first sight it may seem to be, but if you think about it that`s bollocks, in fact
it`s "Health & Safety Bollocks". You`d almost certainly be in far more danger crossing
the bleedin` road, and yet that is perfectly legal !
On the other hand the "Train Operating Companies" (how romantic that sounds.......) would
probably consider it to be a waste of the drivers` time, and therefore their money.
That`s crap as well.
I`ll tell you something, that railwayman knew more about public relations than all these
students tumbling out of university with their "Marketing Science" degrees put together.
I don`t even want to think how much I`ve spent on train travel etc over the years (most of
which I probably wouldn`t have) had that BR driver not taken time out for a bunch of kids.
That`s it.
Remember every "Health & Safety Bollocks" ruling has a cost somewhere along the line,
even if it`s "only" to deny people fabulous experiences that can change their lives......
Still, at least the kids of today have got their "Play Stations", though I`m sure there`s not
one of them (well, the normal ones anyway.....) who would rather play a bleedin` computer
game than actually drive a train !
Actually, blaming Health and Safety (as in the Health and Safety Executive) is probably
misguided. It`s the bleedin` compensation culture, those parasite lawyers and people out
to get something for nothing. Don`t the latter realise what 4” fence posts are really about !
Oh yes, and companies (and councils) using “Health and Safety” as an excuse to save
money by withdrawing services........
Health And Safety Bollocks, School Style.
When I read in The Times that chemistry experiments, particularly the "whizz bang" ones,
were under threat because of Health & Safety Bollocks I couldn`t believe it.
That was the only interesting thing about chemistry wasn`t it ?
Undertaking the experiments, especially the spectacular ones, was certainly the thing
which fired up most pupils interest in the subject.
Good Lord, as far as I`m concerned you`re not a proper school kid if you haven`t
got at least one accidental (or not....) acid burn mark on your school blazer.
Hold on, do they still wear blazers ?
I`ll rephrase that.
Good Lord, as far as I`m concerned you`re not a proper school kid if you haven`t got at
least one accidental (or not....) acid burn mark on your school hoodie.
That article in The Times waits till the end to really score top marks for Bollocks.
A Head Teacher, Jane Lees (incredibly a former Head of Science......) is actually
quoted as saying that they`ve "moved on" from doing practical experiments. Next she
almost gets enthusiastic when she opines that they`ve got "different ways of teaching now,
with videos, the internet and virtual learning ! ". Oh Great ! ! Virtual Learning ! ! !
Didn`t that used to be called watching it on TV ? Sounds Fun !
Finally, and almost unbelievably, she says, and this is a direct quote, this virtual learning
is "just as interesting" (as actually doing the experiments). As far as I`m concerned if she
thinks kids, or adults come to that, would really get just as much interest from watching an
experiment on the internet, as actually doing it, she`s got no business being a teacher.
The alternative, which I don`t believe for a second, is that the kids of today really would find
it as interesting, in which case they`re even sadder than I ever imagined.
In fact one wonders for the future of the human race. Virtual sex doesn`t make babies,
or it didn`t when I last checked, but they`re damn clever these Chinese, so we`ll just have
to wait and see....
How Risky Is It ?
Below is a list which was originally printed in the Royal Statistical Society News (Oct 1998)
as part of an article by Frank Duckworth. Frank is one half of the pair who invented the
Duckworth Lewis scoring system in cricket. The list is an attempt to quantify risk by giving
it a “risk number” equating to the probability of death.
As these risk numbers vary by an order of magnitude it is a logarithmic scale, e.g. a risk
number of 4 would be 10 times more likely than a risk number of 3. The figures refer to the
UK and are for a lifetime`s exposure unless a specific time period is given.
100 mile rail journey
Destructive asteroid impact (new born male)
1000 mile flight
100 mile car journey (sober middle aged driver)
Rock climbing (one session)
Homicide (new born male)
Lifetime of car travel (new born male)
Accidental falls (new born male)
Rock climbing (over 20 years)
Deep sea fishing (40 year career)
Continuing smoking cigarettes (male aged 35 :10/day)
Continuing smoking cigarettes (male aged 35 :40/day)
Russian roulette (one game)
Suicide (successful attempt ! )
= 0.3
= 1.6
= 1.7
= 1.9
= 4.2
= 4.6
= 5.5
= 5.5
= 6.3
= 6.4
= 6.7
= 7.1
= 7.2
= 8.0
Everyone knows how dangerous cigarettes are but notice how dangerous car travel is, and also the danger from falls.
The use of stairs is a dangerous activity. I`m not being facetious about this, they really
are risky ! Bear in mind that this list is only giving a risk factor for death, if you include the risk of injuries I wouldn`t be surprised if use of the stairs actually came top !
Remember that when you casually trot downstairs carrying something with both arms.....
On the other hand I wonder what would be the chance of death whilst being shown around
a railway locomotive as in the tale above ?
About the same as an asteroid impact ? That`s Health & Safety Bollocks.......
In his article Frank wonders how different our attitude to risk would be if all illness was curable and they could stop the ageing process. To emphasise the point, if we could potentially live for ever, would we still indulge in risky activities ?
If you`ve found this site informative and, hopefully, interesting as well,
please help us increase the number of people reading it.